Botched Experiments
by sunny-baby-angel
Summary: So Hanji messed up with one of her experiments again, not a big deal. But what if a certain grumpy Corporal gets botched up instead? Levi/Hanji. Leaning more to friendship. Rated T for language.


Date Published: 06/29/13

A/N: Okay, so after a whole week of wanting to write a Shingeki no Kyojin fanfiction, I only managed to write it today at exactly midnight. Wow, where did all my brain tissues wander to? Anyhow, I finally made it! I just hope it turns out good and entertaining. I really love SnK and I need to vent all these love and madness into writing, yes. I love LeviHan pairing so I guess I'd give it a try using my favorite genre.

Disclaimer: I seriously won't be able to own SnK, but if I do – I don't know what to do either :P

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****Botched Experiments****

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Hanji Zoe, Scouting Legion

Log no. 77

'I, Hanji Zoe, after the recent innumerable sorties to reclaim Wall Maria, was finally able to secure several fine Titan limbs for my many experiments. And by secure, I mean that they were preserved just in time before they burst into vapor. Special mention to Moblit for bringing the vine jar he supposedly took for Mike. Er, sorry 'bout that Mike but I assure you that the limbs in the vine* jar will bring us more truth than the lies the previous substance can generate. Anyhow, everything looks fine here in the lab - I mean my quarters, since we had to leave the previous laboratory room after Rivaille discovered all the mess my team and I made. He even had Irvin do a memo for him to clean the entire facility as a punishment for a lapse in watching over my experiments. Now was that even a punishment? Bet he enjoyed, no, savored it. Which is unfortunate 'cause we can't even walk inside the place with our boots on - I bet we could even eat from the floor. Sigh, I've been working on this experiment for three days now, without sleep and sufficient nutrition, but the chances are too good to let go. I'll definitely find the answers this time, the answers Humanity had always waited for…. Er, what was I supposed to do again? Oh right! Now I only need to pour in some sodium hydroxide to separate the flesh from the bones-

'Oi, shitty glasses-'

BOOOOOM!

Thick clouds bombarded the entire room as charred fragments, blood and slime covered every wall and flooring. Hanji rushed to burst the windows open before screaming her lungs out into the wilderness.

'YOU'VE GOTTA BE KIDDING MEEEEE!' Hanji pulled on her hair outrageously, 'I was working on that for three days without sleep, without bath, without a social life-'

'What the fuck was that,' A hand full of popping veins dangerously clasped her shoulder, 'You better give me a fucking explanation for this.'

Turning her head around to where the murderous aura was radiating from, Hanji was sure that if a glare of a person could kill - and just from this particular person behind her, all the Titans would have already been eradicated. However, they were not the recipient of that glare at the moment. She was.

But the glare was not the real concern. His hair was.

'You sure won't be able to have a sweet dump this week,' He grinded her head with his knuckles, 'And don't even show a fucking smile coz I sure am slicing that off your face.'

'Ow, ow, ow, ow! It hurts!' Hanji pleaded as she bit her tongue, doing her best not to even twitch at the new hairdo Rivaille acquired from the blast. Hairdo, how about _hair-burned_? She snickered.

'Ow, ow, OWWWWWW! What was that for?!' She nursed her head which was threatening to produce a severe migraine.

'Shitty glasses, I will _kill_ you right now. Any fucking last words?' Rivaille quietly clutched the hilt of his blade, a murderous shade of darkness on his face. Plus the retro-disco-curly-hair.

'I…I can't,' Hanji spoke as she quietly squatted on the floor.

'Shit your pants?'

'SORRY! I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMOOORE! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!'

Hanji sprinted out of the room as she laughed out loud. Now everyone in the camp will know of Rivaille's transformation from Corporal to Manager Ken. *

Okay, maybe that was bad. She made fun of him when he was (maybe) looking out for her.

Gathering all the courage she had, she walked back to her quarters, waiting for death to claim her anytime.

'You sure had a great time,' Rivaille was sitting down on her doorstep, his legs outstretched.

'Sorry, Rivaille. I didn't mean to laugh at you. Really, sorry.' Hanji kneeled beside him, reaching out to his burned locks. 'It's my fault your hair got burned.'

'What are you-'

She touched his hair and almost made a squeal as the charred parts fell off, leaving the unaffected ones on his scalp. She felt them too and found out how they were soft and clean as if nothing burned them that day.

'Incredible,' Her eyes glowed as she continued to inspect his scalp, 'How is it that your hair returned to its normal state as if nothing happened? Curious…Wait, don't tell me-'

'I cut them off with my blade,' He answered nonchalantly, 'Problem?'

'No way,' She argued contentedly, 'That is way too awesome! Aside from being Humanity's Strongest Soldier and a clean freak, you are also destined to become the world's greatest barber!'

Hanji can't help beaming her great smile despite of herself and the unfortunate events that afternoon. She was extraordinarily happy for whatever reason there was.

'You okay with what happened to your experiment?' Rivaille looked up then gave her a side glance. 'You sure are unfortunate with shit like that.'

'Yeah,' She rubbed her head, then with a gentle smile at the corporal, 'Guess I'll need more of Mike's vine jars in the next expedition. Hope he doesn't notice.'

'He won't,' Rivaille stood up and abruptly grabbed her arm, 'Now let's us grab some food to eat, then rest after. That's an order to you, bloody specs.'

'Alright!'

Hanji no longer wailed over her botched experiments. _Cause so long as Rivaille was there to accompany her and the Scouting Legion, the answers to all of their questions seem not too hard to find._

Fin.

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*Manager Ken – reference from Yakitate! Japan! Anime (Look it up :D)

*Vine – as in alcoholic beverage or something like that, it's in the manga

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A/N: Thank you for reading! Hope you'll leave a review for me~ ::puppy eyes::


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